Announcements
(At a family get together)
Clay: I have an announcement, it pertains to everyone.
Clay’s Girlfriend: You’re gay?
View →(At a family get together)
Clay: I have an announcement, it pertains to everyone.
Clay’s Girlfriend: You’re gay?
View →Clay’s Girlfriend: Like, you know, white babies are born crying and Asian babies are born saying, “HERRO!”
View →Clay’s Girlfriend: Why the hell does he want to raise cattle?
Clay: Because cows are worth a lot of money.
Clay’s Girlfriend: So are prostitues, does he want them grazing in his yard, too?
View →Clay: I’m going to the store,need anything, babe?
Clay’s Girlfriend: Fabreeze. I’m tired of that burnt flesh smell that comes about when I burn one of those dead hookers.
View →Friend: A real cowboy just came to the store!
Clay’s Girlfriend: Good thing you look just like a cow!
View →Clay: It said that there’s like 4 hostages on that yacht.
Clay’s Girlfriend: This is America. If we aren’t hijacking planes we’re getting on hijacked yachts. It’s our way of life.
View →(We ate lunch together, she got there before I did and already had a table, drinks, etc.)
Waitress: Do you need more silverware?
Clay’s Girlfriend: Nah, we’re going to share the same fork.
View →Clay’s Girlfriend: Oh my God, look at her.
Clay: You should stop judging people.
Clay’s Girlfriend: Well, she shouldn’t be weird in public if she doesn’t want my opinion.
View →Clay’s Girlfriend: You start one major genocide and suddenly you’re a Jew killing bastard. Society these days.
View →